Answered Prayers-Part I:Love

This could really be a very long post if I went into everything I'm thankful for here, but I just want to talk about Scott :-).

As most of those who know me know, I did not date a lot when I was younger, or even much during my twenties. I was smart enough to not date men who were wrong for me, but I was too insecure and lacked the self confidence to believe that I was worthy of the good men. Then a few, perfectly timed things happened in my life. First, I met two of my dear friends, Nancy and Melissa, who started me on the path to self acceptance and love. Nancy is a behavioral analyst, a personal & business coach and CEO of her company, Insights (intentional plug for my friend's business!). She was instrumental in (forgive the expression) helping me get my head out of my own tushy! We had a lot of time to talk during our many walks on the canal (training for the Utica Boilermaker 15K race that we did together in 2003 and 2004). At that time I also decided that I needed some help to get to the core of my poor self esteem. It was something deep that was blocking me...I'm an intelligent woman and knew all the reasons that I should be able to date like everyone else (other fat girls had boyfriends, what was wrong with me?). So I went to a hypnotherapist. ....I know what you are thinking, but it is nothing like what you watch on TV. I was completely aware of what was going on the whole time and could have come out of it at anytime if I felt the need. It was the catalyst I needed to help resolve some old wounds of childhood.

It wasn't an immediate transformation, but it at least cleansed out some of the old programing of being unworthy. I'd also heard someone say to "fake it 'til you make it." So I decided that I would pretend to be all confident and it worked!!! I started dating. I met my first boyfriend speed-dating. We had a good relationship and a friendly break-up. He was a good person. And although we were not meant for each other, he helped show me a glimpse of the potential I'd been hoping for. I wish him all wonderful things in his life! (On an ironic side note: He's also now married and has one child, the last I saw him. We left each other to find the person we were really supposed to be with. I think that's cool!)

After healing from my first real heartbreak I decided to look at finding a husband/life partner like a job interview. I really made it like a business and didn't let my heart get involved until I saw some potential. As instructed in the book, "If I'm so wonderful, why and I still single?" by Susan Page, I made a list of every trait and quality that I wanted in a partner (Everything, just brain-storm, get it on paper!). Then I divided the list into "must-have's" and "would be nice"...the top 5 "must-have's" were the deal-breakers! I didn't go on dates or subsequent dates with anyone who didn't fit my deal-breakers....NO MATTER how good-looking, funny, rich, etc they were, b/c my goal was to find my husband. It was very empowering to turn down dates!! That helped to further build my self esteem. No one was given a third date until Scott. We met through E-harmony. Thankfully, he was only bachelor number 8 after the ex-boyfriend!! Even after the first few dates I kept trying to find a reason not to date him...why he wasn't worthy of me...and I just couldn't! We are perfect for each other! Even our parents say how much we fit together.

We dated for 2 1/2 years before we moved in together, were engaged three months later, married the year after that and now, 1 month away from our 1 year anniversary are expecting our first child in May 2009!!

Everything I thought I wanted in a boyfriend, in a marriage, what I thought marriage was supposed to be pales in comparison to what we have. I am constantly amazed and grateful for our relationship. We are partners in every way! This is worth every minute I waited!!!






Scott and Karen
Married October 20, 2007