From the beginning Scott and I had decided to not prevent pregnancy. We were both hopeful that things would work, but we were also realistic to know that it might not be in the cards for us. I am 39 after all. So we said to each other that we were both ok with what ever happened...that if it's meant to be we'll have a baby (and if it didn't happen that we'd be ok...or we'd consider adopting) That it was in God's hands.
When our "not preventing" went from December 2007 to June 2008 I decided...with Scott's approval :-)... that I wanted to get a little more aggressive and start "trying." I started by doing a month long (one menstrual cycle) hormone test from a natural health company in California, Biohealth Diagnostics. I took my basal body temperature each morning and spit into a little vial every other morning during that cycle and sent it off to the lab. I was sent back a report with my progesterone and estradiol values and a graph showing the trend. From this and my daily temperature readings I could tell when (and if) I'd ovulated that month (since I'm a chiropractor I'm able to interpret my own results, others would consult with one of the company's doctors on staff).
When I figured out the next day that I would most likely be ovulating I realized that it was very close to my Grandpa's birthday. He used to tell people that his birthday was 8-9-10 (Aug 9, 1910). He was one of the sweetest, kindest, most wonderful men that I've ever know. This also made me think of my other grandparents, to whom I was very close throughout my childhood, and even into adulthood with three of them. So I said a prayer to the four of them to help guide the right sperm and egg together so that our child would have each of their best qualities.
After we "did the deed" on the evening after my morning temperature had gone up, I put two pillows under my butt and laid on my back... for FOUR HOURS! I had not intended to fall asleep that way! But I'm not complaining now!! Was it that? Was it the prayer to my grandparents? Was it just finally good timing? or was is Divine intervention? ....I think it was a little of everything, but mostly the last one! :-)
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Our Little bun in the oven!! Due May 1st
8 week ultrasound today...we heard the heartbeat and everything looks great!!
Monday, September 15, 2008
Answered Prayers-Part I:Love
This could really be a very long post if I went into everything I'm thankful for here, but I just want to talk about Scott :-).
As most of those who know me know, I did not date a lot when I was younger, or even much during my twenties. I was smart enough to not date men who were wrong for me, but I was too insecure and lacked the self confidence to believe that I was worthy of the good men. Then a few, perfectly timed things happened in my life. First, I met two of my dear friends, Nancy and Melissa, who started me on the path to self acceptance and love. Nancy is a behavioral analyst, a personal & business coach and CEO of her company, Insights (intentional plug for my friend's business!). She was instrumental in (forgive the expression) helping me get my head out of my own tushy! We had a lot of time to talk during our many walks on the canal (training for the Utica Boilermaker 15K race that we did together in 2003 and 2004). At that time I also decided that I needed some help to get to the core of my poor self esteem. It was something deep that was blocking me...I'm an intelligent woman and knew all the reasons that I should be able to date like everyone else (other fat girls had boyfriends, what was wrong with me?). So I went to a hypnotherapist. ....I know what you are thinking, but it is nothing like what you watch on TV. I was completely aware of what was going on the whole time and could have come out of it at anytime if I felt the need. It was the catalyst I needed to help resolve some old wounds of childhood.
It wasn't an immediate transformation, but it at least cleansed out some of the old programing of being unworthy. I'd also heard someone say to "fake it 'til you make it." So I decided that I would pretend to be all confident and it worked!!! I started dating. I met my first boyfriend speed-dating. We had a good relationship and a friendly break-up. He was a good person. And although we were not meant for each other, he helped show me a glimpse of the potential I'd been hoping for. I wish him all wonderful things in his life! (On an ironic side note: He's also now married and has one child, the last I saw him. We left each other to find the person we were really supposed to be with. I think that's cool!)
After healing from my first real heartbreak I decided to look at finding a husband/life partner like a job interview. I really made it like a business and didn't let my heart get involved until I saw some potential. As instructed in the book, "If I'm so wonderful, why and I still single?" by Susan Page, I made a list of every trait and quality that I wanted in a partner (Everything, just brain-storm, get it on paper!). Then I divided the list into "must-have's" and "would be nice"...the top 5 "must-have's" were the deal-breakers! I didn't go on dates or subsequent dates with anyone who didn't fit my deal-breakers....NO MATTER how good-looking, funny, rich, etc they were, b/c my goal was to find my husband. It was very empowering to turn down dates!! That helped to further build my self esteem. No one was given a third date until Scott. We met through E-harmony. Thankfully, he was only bachelor number 8 after the ex-boyfriend!! Even after the first few dates I kept trying to find a reason not to date him...why he wasn't worthy of me...and I just couldn't! We are perfect for each other! Even our parents say how much we fit together.
We dated for 2 1/2 years before we moved in together, were engaged three months later, married the year after that and now, 1 month away from our 1 year anniversary are expecting our first child in May 2009!!
Everything I thought I wanted in a boyfriend, in a marriage, what I thought marriage was supposed to be pales in comparison to what we have. I am constantly amazed and grateful for our relationship. We are partners in every way! This is worth every minute I waited!!!
Scott and Karen
Married October 20, 2007
As most of those who know me know, I did not date a lot when I was younger, or even much during my twenties. I was smart enough to not date men who were wrong for me, but I was too insecure and lacked the self confidence to believe that I was worthy of the good men. Then a few, perfectly timed things happened in my life. First, I met two of my dear friends, Nancy and Melissa, who started me on the path to self acceptance and love. Nancy is a behavioral analyst, a personal & business coach and CEO of her company, Insights (intentional plug for my friend's business!). She was instrumental in (forgive the expression) helping me get my head out of my own tushy! We had a lot of time to talk during our many walks on the canal (training for the Utica Boilermaker 15K race that we did together in 2003 and 2004). At that time I also decided that I needed some help to get to the core of my poor self esteem. It was something deep that was blocking me...I'm an intelligent woman and knew all the reasons that I should be able to date like everyone else (other fat girls had boyfriends, what was wrong with me?). So I went to a hypnotherapist. ....I know what you are thinking, but it is nothing like what you watch on TV. I was completely aware of what was going on the whole time and could have come out of it at anytime if I felt the need. It was the catalyst I needed to help resolve some old wounds of childhood.
It wasn't an immediate transformation, but it at least cleansed out some of the old programing of being unworthy. I'd also heard someone say to "fake it 'til you make it." So I decided that I would pretend to be all confident and it worked!!! I started dating. I met my first boyfriend speed-dating. We had a good relationship and a friendly break-up. He was a good person. And although we were not meant for each other, he helped show me a glimpse of the potential I'd been hoping for. I wish him all wonderful things in his life! (On an ironic side note: He's also now married and has one child, the last I saw him. We left each other to find the person we were really supposed to be with. I think that's cool!)
After healing from my first real heartbreak I decided to look at finding a husband/life partner like a job interview. I really made it like a business and didn't let my heart get involved until I saw some potential. As instructed in the book, "If I'm so wonderful, why and I still single?" by Susan Page, I made a list of every trait and quality that I wanted in a partner (Everything, just brain-storm, get it on paper!). Then I divided the list into "must-have's" and "would be nice"...the top 5 "must-have's" were the deal-breakers! I didn't go on dates or subsequent dates with anyone who didn't fit my deal-breakers....NO MATTER how good-looking, funny, rich, etc they were, b/c my goal was to find my husband. It was very empowering to turn down dates!! That helped to further build my self esteem. No one was given a third date until Scott. We met through E-harmony. Thankfully, he was only bachelor number 8 after the ex-boyfriend!! Even after the first few dates I kept trying to find a reason not to date him...why he wasn't worthy of me...and I just couldn't! We are perfect for each other! Even our parents say how much we fit together.
We dated for 2 1/2 years before we moved in together, were engaged three months later, married the year after that and now, 1 month away from our 1 year anniversary are expecting our first child in May 2009!!
Everything I thought I wanted in a boyfriend, in a marriage, what I thought marriage was supposed to be pales in comparison to what we have. I am constantly amazed and grateful for our relationship. We are partners in every way! This is worth every minute I waited!!!
Scott and Karen
Married October 20, 2007
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Welcome to our life
I have come to a point in my life where I feel the need to express my gratitude: gratitude for who I've become, for my wonderful family and friends, for my health and for Scott, the most incredible husband, who is worth every minute I waited for him. I'm not the most articulate person, but I have some wonderful stories to share. Some I hope will reach family and friends to update them and some I hope will inspire those I don't know to greater happiness in their life.
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